I AM A HOLY VESSEL

Psalms of My Soul                                                                                                              B"H

YESOD sh b'Malchut

Sephirat HaOmer day 48

6 weeks and 6 days of the Omer

I AM A HOLY VESSEL

Shekhina, Dwelling Within Myself 

A Sacred Space, From Which Creation Emerges

- Joy Krauthammer,   I am Gila Rena Tzohara, Double Joy and Light

My good life... I am a Holy vessel. (You too.)  I passionately receive / kabel and fill my vessel, Sephirot of abunDance / a shefa of Divine joy and Light... radiant Light that came into Noach's Ark through the illumination window, the Tzohar.

Joyfully, and in gratitude, as potter, I have ritually molded clay to awaken its inner space, and reveal its hidden gloriousness. Clay pot becomes the splendor of Chesed, Gevurah, Tiferet, Netzach and Hod in Yesod. Giving, walls, beauty, direction and splendor in foundation. My creation in Yesod sh b'Malchut. In awe, I join fire, water, and breath of air... with the humble earth in an intimate honored relationship of lover to beloved. My connection to The Source, Infinite One, as I receive, and with kavannah / intention, -- I give with Chesed to Mother Earth’s clay -- love, preparation, centering, penetration, opening, entering, deeper, wider, Oneness / Echadness... stillness.., movement, balancing, raising slowly in exploration, harmony, strengthening, wholeness,... releasing and letting go with tender care and control.   For integrity, Gevurah of submission and strength, sets the limits.  The opening to Oneness, the nourishment I seek, receive and immerse myself, allows me to surrender separateness, transcend, to be liberated, and transformed as the stretched, voluminous natural clay body, rising exaltedly in a mystic spiral and revealed as whole expanded consciousness. I contain spirit and soul. I am a vessel... (You too.)

My good life. I am a Holy vessel. In Tiferet / beauty, balance, compassion, and Emet / truth, with Gevurahdic limitations, I fill my temple and receive Chesed / Loving-kindness. Circulating energy, I pour forth joy and share my flowing shefa / abunDance... I play my vessel-- my drums and my multi-colored ribboned timbrel. With awakened soul I send out life’s deepest heart music so that G*d’s other children (You too.), may rejoice with me, and in Tiferet / harmony come closer to the Divine One, the Compassionate One.  Awaken! Journey along the Tree of Life. Touch my skin... and listen to my tone, my song, heartbeat, harmony, rhythm, movement. Dance!  Touch my skin and feel the power of my body pulsations, vibrations, undulations, gyrations, reverberations.  Connect!  I am blessed as friends tell me that ripples in a vast ocean of cosmic consciousness are created from my sparks of Joy.  I am a vessel... (You too.)

Purple colored velvet and silk, burgundy and blues inspire me, and culture: art, music, theatre, poems, books, NPR, KCET, the net, and sensual foreign films. In Netzach / going forth in good deeds and joy, with travel to distant lands, trips to higher consciousness, holidays, Holy days, conferences, retreats, spas with hot bubbling water, and cold water streams in which to view life's reflections. Mikvehs, water for healing and purification-- cleansing our souls. To reach Mount Sinai, with persistence and devotion, with Sephirot, I Count my days.

Oh! Fertile gardens of splendor / Hod, I give thanks in gratitude for You, filled with nature’s music, singing love doves--coo, coo, coo, coo, Mockingbirds in symphony, playful squirrels, funny bunnies, fresh lush fruit the animals leave for me to harvest, and fragrant sensuous flowers. Ahh, the beauty. I have an orgasm simply looking at a flower. I am "a flower", say my friends. 



From splendid sunrise to sunset, I express Ruach HaKodesh... Pleasures I receive from a profusion of sources:  The Gates of my seven facial openings are my judges, and in Gevurah, what I allow in. Nose-- Inhale fragrance, breathe deeply, Yah, and hold breath, release...  Eyes-- smile, see, witness good and evil.  Ears-- hear, Shma / listen, avoid Loshon Hara.  Mouth-- savors, tastes, accepts, exhales breath, and words of Chochma / wisdom and love.  Hands--touch, soothe, heal, create, offer mitzvot high and wide, and bless.  Feet dance in ecstasy and "take me where my mind can't go", said Reb Shlomo, z"l.  I have Tiferet / heart-- life force to listen with inner vision... to share compassion, love, Brachot and praise.  I have Judaism, Torah, sacred spaces, tradition, innovation, ritual, belief, emunah / faith, and bitachon / trust, and blesSings.  Money for food, shelter, car, purple clothes, rebbes / teachers, gifts, and tzedakah / charity.

I have outrageousness, openness, options, opportunities to be all I can be, and obligations to reach out. I am a vessel...
 (You too.)

I am a Sacred vessel... A womb... of Yesod / foundation for creative spiritual expression of connecting in harmony and joy. My daughter (now a mother), conscious, too, of her midot / character, giving, restrictive, beautiful, balancing life, directed, grateful, bonded with family and friends, loved by many, wise, talented, creative, funny, successful, generous, involved, loving and happy. She opens my eyes-- and bonding, puts her soft, strong hand in mine, as her baby puts in hers. I am a vessel... (You too.)

Precious treasures: loving friends, family, teachers, chevre / community. Henayni / I am present with You. You are here with me. I have spiritual longing for d’vekut / desire to be at-One-ment with the Holy One.  Malchut / kingdom of Shekhina's Indwelling Presence has received all the radiant Light, and awaits my revealed gifts, my inner-self, and unique self-expression.

My good life... My vessel runneth over... Blessed by the Source of Life with gifts to give:  illuminated vision, dreams manifested, imagination, exploration... Fantasies, published words and art from my heart. Energy flows and sometimes finds an opening in my vessel-- a brokenness to escape from. The Compassionate One and healers help make me whole. Loved ones help make me whole. Memories complete me. I do tshuvah as I define and refine, purify my soul, and return to myself, and to Indwelling Shekhinah in Malchut / vessel of all flowing energies, in Light, freedom, shalom, harmony, awe, laughter, and love...  

As my passionately formed vessels of clay, and music of vessels rise, so does my neshamah / soul ascend and elevate-- ascending, ascending to a higher consciousness... My spirit awakens, expands, and soars. My vessel arouses others... Let us travel together the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. Baruch Hashem.

Thank You for my shefa.  With all my heart and with all my soul, on this spiritual journey I pour forth an abunDance of exhilaration and Joy... I feel intoxicated.  

I am a holy vessel. I have a good life... I am grateful.


May you be blessed with double joy and Light, G*d's Light from the Tzohar,

 the window of illumination at the top of Noach's Ark.

~ ~ ~

I AM A HOLY VESSEL 

Joy Krauthammer - performance artist & author, Shira Solomon - dancer,  Frank Lester - drummer
(Photo. witnesses: Rabbi Stan Levy and B'nai Horin congregation)

Performers 

Joy Krauthammer - author ©, artist 

Carole Solomon - dance

Frank Lester - percussion



Venues: Sarah's Tent, April 1995, 

                B'nai Horin, April 1995,

                Ahavat Torah, April 2013 


Produced by Angels of Joy, and Angel Productions


(Prose underline _= BE action, object)

http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-am-holy-vessel-day-38-tiferet-sh.html

http://joys-prose.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-am-holy-vessel.html

.

i danced and my eyes sparkled and my angel self took flight into my Book of Life

i danced and my eyes sparkled and my angel self took flight into my Book of Life

by Joy Krauthammer  © 

I DANCED I DANCED I DANCED

i danced in ecstasy on gossamer iridescent wings of an angel.

I danced and spun and my immense wings were outstretched to the limit beyond my body, over my head around the ground, and my smile stretched with glee as far. All the drummers drummed and I danced. To the right, to the left, around and around lifting my wings and flying. My energy raised, my soul soared. I floated on my wings. A drummer later said that I could have taken flight, and I said, “I did take flight.”

Tonight, because I wanted to dance, I had even worn dancing shoes (instead of my clunky purple Birkenstock sandals) and a delicate, soft chiffon skirt with a lovely top (instead of grounding blue jeans and old T-shirt). My intention was set. I even wore Israeli swinging, long dangling earrings with small red gem stones.

Intention. Intention. But from 6:30 pm to 8:40 pm, I did not dance. I drummed deeply, listening, feeling, with my eyes closed toward trance. Others danced outside the drummers' circle and inside the circle, and I could not. I so wanted to dance. How do I get up? How can I be visible? Not OK, was my message. I needed an opening to step forward, an outstretched arm, an invitation.

I had put away my drums early (to get to shop Trader Joe's in time by 9) to leave before the others who were still drumming, and then I saw her. Enchanted, I watched the beautiful, graceful dancer, Lisa, take flight on her angel hummingbird colored, transparent, delicate pleated wings, and I smiled and I stood and clapped for her while she danced.

A woman, Rhonda, said to me, “You, too, can have wings; She has another pair.” “Really?” I asked. The woman asked dancer Lisa for wings, and Rhonda placed the rhinestone neck cuff around MY neck. My hands positioned, holding the inside end of each still wing, and I slowly took flight. (Different than my old 'hang gliding' days.) Space was made for me inside the circle. It was sacred safe space to be free, to be myself with my desire, and dance.

I was able to reveal myself while concealed in wings. My goddess-self emerged. My soul soared. My deep desire to fly--to dance came true, and who knew that I could still spin like a whirling dervish. My wings (like my tambourines) were a physical extension of my arms and hands. I was liberated in my dance. Bat Khorin / daughter of freedom. A transformation! A healing. A mask at first for my intimidation; my discomfort to reveal myself-who truly yearned to move, but most likely could not.

And I moved and I danced; my body danced. My feet danced. My neshamah / soul danced. On my sadly crippled, healing from surgery knees, I danced. On the space beyond time of my nine months of mourning, I danced. On my mitzrayim / constriction I danced. On my oppressed self I danced. On my fear of visibility, and vulnerability, and comparison to others I danced. On my desire I danced. I breathed in and out the present moment of my dance. I danced "for the love I felt. I danced to free my spirit. I danced in response to my joy."* My wings fluttered and flew and I flowed. My wing span was immense, endless as my spirit and my deepest joys / sassoon, simcha, gila, rena, ditza, v'chedva / joy, celebration, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight.

Endlessly wide I expanded, and then I would cocoon myself in a Shekhina** embrace and bring my wings into my heart, pause, feel the stillness, and then reach outward higher and higher.

As I was landing from my flight, another drummer, sitting across the circle from me (with whom I have never spoken to in all these years at Remo Music Center’s Tuesday Drum Circle nights***** and classes), came over to me outside the circle, and excitedly told me how my eyes were sparkling as soon as I saw the winged woman. I had been witnessed. And I am still sparkling.

I said to the drummer, “And now you can dance with the wings”. And I took off the borrowed beautiful light-weight, magnificent extraordinary set of magical wings, and put the rhinestone cuff around the drummer’s neck, and away danced the drummer into the middle of the safe drum circle.

Rhonda had gifted me with her truly insightful offer that I would like wings. Lisa gifted me with wearing wings. Empowered, I gifted the drummer to liberation. The feminine could shine. Shekhina must be beaming.

When Lisa's dance had gently landed, and a woman, Caroline, and I had looked at each other (just meeting in person for the first time while putting away our percussion), we, Shh, privately acknowledged to each other our own shyness, self-doubt and intimidations. Carolyn--who has a birthday next Wednesday, she said, then stated, “Next week!” Next week we two, too, shall dance since it would be her birthday. And releasing renewed confidence I said, “And me too. Next week!”

So instead of “next week”, tonight-- my second Rhythm Wednesday at Remo, I Danced. I danced and my eyes sparkled and my angel-self took flight into my Book of Life.***

I looked at Carolyn drumming once again in the circle as I danced toward her, and affirmatively expressed, “THIS WEEK!”

I have danced into preparing for the New Year, for Rosh HaShanah, into my Book of Life.

I bless you and myself, that when we can’t walk into the Book of Life, that we dance in with wings.****

Joy Krauthammer

Serve G*d With Joy

September 13, 2006,  20 Elul 5766

* quote by Shiloh Sophia

** Shekhina--Indwelling Feminine Presence of the Source of All Blessings

*** At Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year, we are inscribed into the Book of Life, and it is sealed on Yom Kippur. Our Chasidic rabbis have taught us to “Dance our way into the Book of Life.”

**** While my husband, z’l, may his memory be for a blesSing, was sick for years and then dying, loving community supported me with their wings, lifting me, when mine were broken.

***** I am so very grateful to REMO for offering the sacred safe place and drum facilitators for all of us drummers, and the use of the best REMO drums.

~ ~ ~

PERCUSSION IS MY PASSION

~ STORIES of JOY ~

Percussion Is My Passion

  - Joy Krauthammer   
April 2011

At the end of Shabbat services, where I serve spiritual communities as world-beat hand percussionist, people ask me questions: How long have I been drumming? What kind of drum is the big one? Did I go to music school? How did I become a drummer? How do I do it? The last is my favorite.

I love these telling questions because I love it that people are interested, and appreciate my music with its subtleties and expansiveness. I love to share my story, one of visions, Hashgachah Pratit / Divine Providence, and of a joyous, passionate Jewish woman drummer.

I share with people that I play with joy for them--because I receive their joyous soulful energy that circulates; I feel that and it excites me. Accompanying cantors, singers, dancers and rabbis brings out the rhythmic best in my music. More of that truth is that I connect with the Source of All BlesSings, and to Miriyahm HaNeviah, biblical timbrel player. I have gratitude, and become a vessel for Hashem’s music. I am ‘played’ by the Holy One. I am inspired to “Serve G*d in Joy”. (Psalm 100:2)  My kavanah / intention is knowing that my ‘Sounds of Joy’-- the gift that G*d gave to me, can assist neshamahs / souls to lift their tehilim / prayers to the Divine One; as a dance going up, and for a shefa / abunDance of conscious connection with healing and wholeness, to come down through the Kabbalistic Four Worlds of Spirit, Mind, Heart and Body.

To be ethereal was my yearning when I asked the Creator to give me a drum—naively thinking that music would not take the great physical space that my own ceramics work had occupied. (That's an oxymoron for a percussionist. I'm learning to be ethereal.)

Many vessels of sound I play were designed (some customized to my desire) by my renowned international teachers (Paolo Mattioli, obm), were purchased during world travels, or were inherited from my mother, z"l (especially gongs and bells). My instruments that I lovingly play, stroke and caress (not 'beat' or 'bang') with my hands or mallets include large wood and natural skin African djembe, Middle-Eastern dumbeks (metal, vegetarian synthetic, or ceramic), frame drums, and (Remo) timbrels (aka riqs) with heavy metal brass (or other alloys) jingles, seed jingles, cymbals, ting shas (small hand cymbals), chimes (72 double row, and energy chimes), triangle, and such ‘small’ hand-made, ethnic traditional percussion as bells, rattles (chajchas, kpoko-kpoko, seeds, Buffalo rawhide), shakers (natural woven caxixi, gourd gita, maracas, shekeres, and axatse), scrapers (guiros), clave, and mu yu (slit drum). Additional ethnic percussion from many nations I have learned include: tambourine, tar, tamborim, bohdran, djun-djun, ashiko, talking drum, klong yaw, cuica, timbau, surdo repinique, agogo, bongo, congas, cowbell, tubano, pandeiro, kanjira, sakara, fruit and vegetable shakers (of plastic, wood or metal), as well as sound shapes.

For meditative and healing moments, I play organic rain sticks, ocean drums, gongs, Asian bells, and crystal and Tibetan singing bowls tuned to lev / heart chakra.

For the last decade, I mamash / truly have loved playing percussion for Lev Eisha / Heart of Woman women and men at our gevaldt / awesome Shabbat services where Shechinah dwells. I have been drumming since 1986, through both challenges and simchas.  The secret? This eisha / woman plays with her lev.

BlesSings for Sounds of Joy,

Joy Krauthammer

This story is published in Lev Eisha site:

http://leveishaorg.ipage.com/?page_id=1863

For a more fully illustrated magical musical story with my responses, please read:

www.joys-music.blogspot.com , www.timbrelsofjoy.blogspot.com , www.healingsoundsofjoy.blogspot.com , and www.joyshakers.blogspot.com , http://rebshlomocarlebach-ztl.blogspot.com/ , http://babatunde-olatunji.blogspot.com/