FEAR OVER STILL WATERS

Fear Over Still Waters

- Joy Krauthammer

Around two decades ago, I was invited to a party in Topanga Canyon. I arrived at night to the address, and found the very steep private driveway down the canyon was not for me to encounter with my car. (I won't even drive in San Francisco hills. I wouldn't even ride my snow sled. Hmm, ski, maybe. At least skiing, I would be rescued if needed.) I parked on the main Canyon sidewalkless Santa Monica Mountains road, and carefully trekked down the dark scary uneven dirt drive. 

On the property, I then faced the tree log needed to cross over the rain-filled unwelcome stream to get to the party house. Oy vey. I had driven all this distance to the party in new agey Topanga with mostly strangers, and now I would not even be able to attend because for some reason I had fear and could not fearlessly access the log to cross over. Alone in the dark, I stood there a long time.  Aha, another woman, several years older than I, arrived maneuvering down the drive. I knew her. She was afraid and would not cross over on the log. I extended my hand to her, and led the way.

Not long after, a similar situation presented itself; On a high rocky hilly narrow path, on the way to a waterfall and lake for a day time mikveh / water purification ritual, with a spiritual group of women being led by Yehudit Goldfarb-- fear struck. Being careful walking and hesitant, I was toward the end of a long single line of women. I noticed that one woman was more leery and slow than I, and ready to turn back before reaching our goal. I reached out my hand and led the way, for both of us. She was grateful. We made it. I joyously played in my first divine waterfall.

Once upon a time, I was on an Arizona Highway's fine photo tour. The group walked through Oak Creek Canyon's wide stream to photo the Sedona magnificence on the other side. I could not cross, and remained alone without taking photos.  All I had needed to do was remove my shoes and use my tripod as a walking stick, and I could NOT do it. I couldn't cross the water. I was a city girl from cement lined NY. Manhattan puddles were never this large. What was the fear?

Now fearlessly, I kayak out in the Pacific Ocean. If I get stuck in winds, a tow boat comes and with a long rope, rescues me. Alone, I kayak to distant motus / little islands in the South Pacific islands of Tahiti, and I return in joy. Sometimes I snorkel alone around large croppings of coral in the Mediterranean Sea in Eilat, Israel, or boat to distant islands in the San Juan Islands, or ...

I have learned to trespass my own boundaries.

A biblical story on transcending stuckness:
Nachshon ben Aminadav, at the Sea of Reeds, is the hero of the Exodus story that began 7 days earlier. This leader of the Israelites has come to identify someone as an initiator. Nachshon, brother-in-law of Aaron, was willing to step forward into the Sea of Reeds up to his nose, toward greater freedom for all our People, and then the Sea split. Nachshon is a model for each of us. There are moments when we are the one, the 'Nachshon' who transcends stuckness and for others, leads the way. 

Joy over Sedona's waters

© Nadav Sklar

Digital kayak photo collage by Joe Rudy

KAYAK story at:

http://joys-prose.blogspot.com/2010/03/kayaking.html

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