HONOR the SOUL of the DECEASED

Ways I Have Honored the Soul of the Deceased, 

Marcel, Menachem EliMelech

http://marcel-my-husband.blogspot.com/2011/02/honoring-deceased.html

by Joy Krauthammer

July 2012

Since Marcel, z"l, died, I have consciously continually honored his memory, his Neshama, in all traditional ways.

It is important to me to traditionally have a Jewish child NAMED after a deceased loved one.

Marcel's and my daughter Aviva Leba is named for my mother, Libby, z"l. With traditional wisdom of naming, I spoke to my rabbis and daughter and son-in-law of the importance of a baby's name and Neshama.

One week ago when I was visiting (during a major hurricane and, oy, a week-long blackout) Marcel's first grandchild, when baby Maya Sage was two weeks old, her parents accompanied her to her local synagogue, when Torah was being read. Aviva and baby had a traditional MiSheberach prayer said for them, while Brett had an Aliyah. Aviva benched gomel.

At the Torah, Baby was given the Hebrew name of Maya Nechama, named for her grandfather, Menachem, z'l. Amayn.

Maya Sage is also named for her other 3 grandparents, whose names begin with "S".

Maya peacefully slept the entire time, not requesting her regular milk meal.

Baby Maya Sage will also soon have a Simchat Bat, a large joyous celebration with friends and family.

This naming act with Marcel's name, is the final remaining act that could be done in honor of Marcel. 

He must be smiling in Shmayim.

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I ensured that Marcel had a proper Jewish burial, with Tahara, Shomer, and Tachrichin by Chevra Kadisha, and I designed and ordered a kosher casket.

I paid for a pleasant cemetery plot in a Jewish cemetery.

I arranged for rabbis and honorary pall bearers that Marcel would like, as we had discussed years before.

I arranged for a funeral time so that disabled brother could come in time.

I arranged for the Mourner's Kaddish and a Minyan in full accordance with Jewish law and tradition.

I arranged for males in different cities to regularly say Kaddish.

For Marcel's levaya / funeral, I wrote a loving invite letter to all.

I arranged funeral procession through a fire-lit memorial garden so that Marcel's Neshama could find comfort.

I had traditional mourning rites with Kriah / a torn garment and ribbon.

I sat Shiva and covered mirrors. (I walked around the block.)

For viewing by mourners and guests, I arranged tables of Marcel's memorabilia and photos of him.

I arranged for shiva meals for guests, and for us to be hosted at friends' home.

I arranged for obituaries for Marcel. I had Marcel honored in the press.

I answered all condolence correspondence and shared with his friends, family and colleagues.

I give Tzadakah in Marcel's name.

I donated a bronze memorial plaque in Marcel's name at Chabad.

I had a candle lit in a synagogue (Chabad) every day for the first year, in honor of his departed soul.
The candle is lit at Chabad on every yahrzeit and every yiskor. I go 5 times yearly to say Kaddish.

Marcel's name was also recited in synagogues across the globe, Maryland, Boston, New York, Scottsdale, and Israel at Hadassah Hospital.

I purchased Marcel's Bar Mitzvah Parsha to be written in a new Torah at Shomrei Torah Synaogue.

Additional Parshas were also written by his mother, and by Aviva at her shul.

I planted purple iris flower-filled gardens in Marcel's name at LA's Barlow Respiratory Hospital.

For Marcel, I very carefully and conscientiously designed, and purchased a beautiful Matzeivah / gravestone, and also a pillowblock/a head stone.

Marcel had requested only a standing granite stone, per family history; I had to settle for a flat stone, trying to appease his Neshama. I make sure the grounds are kept up, in perpetual memory.

I arranged for and led a loving Hakamat Matzeivah unveiling full ceremony, with friends and family present.

My Mitzvot increased in his name, and I inspired my daughter to do the same.

I studied Torah in the name of Marcel.

Books were donated in the memory of Marcel.

Each year In synagogue during Pesach, Shavuot, Shemini Atzeret, and Yom Kippur, I have recited Yizkor/memorial prayer.

Every year on his Yahrzeit, I say prayers in shul, and at Marcel's grave, recite Psalms.

I regularly visit the gravesite. I invited his friends to visit.

I place a pebble on the gravestone to mark my presence.

I prepare pebbles for others to leave their mark.

I call our daughter from the gravesite and on speaker have her say hello. (My daughter visits.)

I plant by the gravestone.

I clean the gravestone of debris.

I paid for the gravesite to be cared for, without weeds or overgrown.

Marcel's gravesite has a bench to sit on. Colorful trees to enjoy and many flowers. Hawks soar overhead the hills.

I created a filled website in Marcel's memory.

I have scanned photos of Marcel for family, friends and website.

I created a large memory book for Marcel.

For Marcel's first few Yahrzeits, in his memory, I organized and played at musical events.

In Marcel's name, I created and donated Hope art for a Holocaust quilt.
In Marcel's name, I created Memorial Flame cards to comfort the bereaved in their own losses.

A new baby, Maya Sage Nechama Sivan, has been named in Marcel's memory. Amayn.

I made a generous contribution to that naming synagogue for Marcel's Neshama and baby name.

In Marcel's name, z"l, I stood up for him and fought for Tzedek / justice until met.

For Marcel and his mother, I speak weekly to her for Shabbat.
I encourage that baby Maya visit Marcel's mother.

With love and traditional loyalty,

a new Bubbie,

and widow (Yes, 6 1/2 years later, I've now used the "w" word)

Joy

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